Sunday, 11 December 2016

How To Be A Londoner...

"Forget being a Parisian, I want to be a Londoner!"

- said no one ever.

But, au contraire. Call me a biased patriot, I think there's a lot more to us Londoner's than moaning about the weather and being moody (not too much, be steady).

It's residents, much like the city, are a vibrant, eccentric and happy bunch of people. They adore the city they call home and would never dream of living anywhere else. We behold a somewhat different je ne sais quoi to our Gallic friends across the pond, yet it is equally mysterious and intriguing.

Today I'm sharing you with you a fun spirited take on what it means to be a Londoner. If you're from elsewhere in the UK, around the globe or a fellow Londoner yourself in need of strengthening your true roots, consider this your guide to being the ultimate Londonien...

Walk everywhere, cabs are for tourists.

Saying "sorry" to someone when they bump into you. 

Saying sorry to anything/ one.

Complain about the TFL services 24/7

Spend weekends outside London in the countryside.

Buy lunch at Pret. Brownie points if you take it away.

Living with a to-go cup of coffee permanently attached to your hand. Preferably from Pret.

You know where every Pret is in London.

You have your favourite Pret's in London.

Close your eyes on the tube. Don't fall asleep, just close your eyes.

Or listen to music wearing the largest (coolest) headphones ever.

Or read a very intelligent book. Londoner's don't just 'sit' on the Tube.

Complain when people talk really loud on the tube ("do you mind! We're trying to close our eyes/ listen to music/ read!")

Actually, analysing the adverts above your head is also an enjoyable past time on the Tube.

Have a favourite pub. Go on pub crawls regularly.

Love looking like you're always in a rush (the adrenaline excites us).

Go out on Thirsty Thursdays. Friday is so last season you guys!

You're either a Londoner who swears all the time, or never at all.

You're automatically suspicious of anyone who can actually afford a house.

You avoid tourist areas such as Covent Garden but secretly love them.

Not tutting at people walking slowly on the pavement, but walking down the edge of the road instead.

A death sentence is preferable to walking down Oxford Street.

Having an elbow in your stomach or an armpit in your face on the Tube at rush hour daily.

Getting furious at people who stand on the left-hand side of the escalator.

A true Londoner is probably not originally from London.

You've probably tried to open your front door with your Oyster card.

A regular travel ticket looks so alien to you that you gasp whenever you see one.

Being polite. We're a nation of loving holding the door for others.

Trying out a new restaurant at least once a week.

Having a slight breakdown if you haven't been inside your usual/ local Tube station for a while (I miss Hammersmith station...curse you Piccadilly line!).

You're either a glamourous, Chelsea blow-dry sporting West-Londoner, or a cool, youthful and hipster-chic East-Londoner. 

Never mix the two. There is an underlying divide between the West and East Londoners.

Go out in East London (even if you are a Westie...blend in by wearing trainers with your dress).

Always wearing trainers with your dress or work, a party, at the weekend. Always.

But spend £400 on a pair of beautiful heels you seldom wear.

Getting excited at anything with the word "Rooftop" in front of it.

You take photos everywhere you go and upload them on social media because you #love #your #city.

Always give a huge smile to everyone while on a walk (saying a gentle "morning!" may be appropriate).

Never leave the house without an umbrella.

Blissfully loving the city you live in.

Et Voila! Who needs to be a Parisian...we're way cooler (maybe).

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